1. 1.
    traveling from place to place, especially working or based in various places for relatively short periods.
    "the peripatetic nature of military life"
    synonyms:nomadic, itinerant, traveling, wandering, roving, roaming, migrant,migratory, unsettled
    "I could never get used to her peripatetic lifestyle"
  2. 2.
  1. 1.
    a person who travels from place to place.
  2. 2.
    an Aristotelian philosopher.

Monday, April 25, 2011

A to Z Blogging Challenge: U is for Uxor

A rare uxor recently spotted at Torreya State Park

U is for Uxor

When SAM and I were teenagers, the word "wife," from the Latin uxor, was well on its way to becoming a dirty word. Marriages that lasted more than a few years were considered unusual by most of our peers. And an uxorious man would have been (and probably still is) considered unworthy of the term manly.

What, specifically, is so wrong about a man who--according to Webster's definition--dotes upon or is affectionately submissive towards his wife? Does it make him less of a man to treat her as he would like to be treated? As long as one partner in a marriage doesn't take advantage of that affectionate submission and expect to always be on the receiving end of it, there should be no problem. A marriage that works--most of the time--and lasts may seem mysterious, but it doesn't have to be.

The day these pictures were taken at Torreya back in late February, we celebrated our 31st anniversary. SAM graciously insisted that I should choose how we would spend the day. Even though his foot frequently bothers him (podiatrist says it's a neuroma), he was more than pleased and understanding when I chose a hike through the woods. Many of our first and most memorable dates were spent walking the hills of Southern Illinois. Walking and love go hand in hand for us. He delighted in letting me plan our day together. Guess who delights in giving him foot rubs?

Tupelo honey, the Cadillac of honeys, always stays smooth and never gets grainy
 Maybe love and marriage are supposed to be mysterious. If we knew exactly what makes them tick, then we probably wouldn't be so eager to want them. It's kind of like honey. Just think. It's really not much more than bee spit. But, oh, is it ever sweet and delicious!

I've been thinking a lot about relationships, specifically marriage, in the fiction that I write. Common practice these days has marriage either not making an appearance at all or winding up dead on arrival. Is it wrong to want to portray it in a good light? Maybe a few examples of it actually working despite the odds against it wouldn't be so bad.

What do you think? Does the topic of marriage ever come up in your work, and how is it portrayed?

Please visit A to Z Blogging Challenge for more "U's" posted by Challenge hosts and other writers.


  1. OK, so if your husband is uxorious, you'd better be sweet as Tupelo honey. Yes? LOL!!! :D

  2. Marriages are featured in my writing. Some happy, working marriages and then the not so happy but enduring one and of course the failed marriages. I am not particular. Depends on the story.

  3. Hi W2W .. great post .. Uxurious .. I'd totally forgotten that word .. not having a husband and not writing about marriage .. perhaps gives me an excuse.

    Congratulations on 31 years .. and obvious contentment .. that's wonderful to know - and so pleased you enjoyed your day .. food massage - yes please!

    Happy days ahead .. cheers Hilary

  4. Beautiful post. I like the sentiments that you have expressed here. I'm not sure what changed about marriage from the days of my parents, but a lot of it has to do with the philosophies of the "me generation". A bit of uxoriousness is not all that bad and a wife's loving consideration should be expected as well. Marriage is a lot of give and taking graciously when it is given.

    Hope you join us in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge Reflections Mega Post on Monday May 2nd.

  5. New word for me and you explained it beautifully.

  6. I don't know how to answer your question! I was married the first time for 4 didn't work. All different sorts of reasons...but now THIS marriage has lasted 22 years...and MOST harmoniously. So I suppose the best thought I can share is that marriage is something that will either last or not...and in each case it will or won't for a lot of different reasons! It's extremely complex.

    You and SAM were meant for each other...with so many similar likes! Your walk in the woods looked wonderful...I need to start hiking with my hubby...he goes in the cooler months of the year on every Saturday!

  7. This is an excellent "U" post. Marriage is always an interesting topic, and I've dealt with it for at least one of my characters in every manuscript I have. I have happy and long lasting ones for some characters, grand passions with tragic ends for others, and even one abusive relationship that triggers a crazy sequence of events for one impulsive newlywed.

  8. You know, marriage doesn't often factor into my writing. I say it that way because I never really thought about it before. I have a wonderful husband, but sometimes in conversation it seems almost rude to talk about how great your marriage is, because the person you're talking to often doesn't have the same experience. Right now I'm writing YA, so there is plenty of relationship, but no marriage involved.

    Good luck with the remainder of the A to Z Challenge!

  9. Ux makes for a wonderful scrabble word. and no, marriage is a wonderful thing and please shine a light upon it in your writing. I have a friend who got annoyed that I called Margaret "my wife"

    I tried to explain that it was a consequence of marriage, she is my wife, and I am her husband.